mmmm crunchy…

So I figure it would be easier just to do a post once a week, and Wednesday seems to be the day to do it 🙂 So I can honestly say that I have had an uninterrupted practice (minus moon days and saturdays) since I began this whole blog. So two weeks of full primary. I have been feeling super strong and light during my practice and been having little breakthroughs here and there, I have been moving right along. UNTIL about two days ago when my lower back started giving me trouble…that dull, achy, CRUNCHY feeling -___- So the past two days I have had to modify my practice big time, especially with jump backs and backbends. This morning I got super frustrated because it started bothering me right after the sun salutations. And that is the very beginning of the series for those of you who don’t know.

I believe everything happens for a reason, so instead of forcing myself to finish the full series, I just went to finishing sequence and sat…and sat…and sat. Normally, with my hyper-competitive self, I would have ignored the pain and kept going. But this time I just knew better. As I sat, and sat, and sat…I realized how similar my back issue was to my struggles these past few years. When I started to realize that my bulimia was TRULY bulimia, I panicked. So I basically put it on the back-burner so to stay. I just pretended it wasn’t an issue and acted like the pain just wasn’t there. You can only ignore an issue for so long, this deep pain in my soul, heart, entire being got so bad that it was debilitating. I felt crippled, my true being was dormant, I simply felt dead.

“Pain: unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, Pain motivates the individual to withdraw from damaging situations, to protect a damaged body part while it heals, and to avoid similar experiences in the future.” (Wikipedia)

Pain happens for a reason and is not meant to be ignored. It is a message our body, mind, and/or heart sends to you because something needs your individual attention. Whether it be my crunchy back pain or damage that my eating disorder had taken on my mind and heart. This goes for anyone suffering. Address the pain, find the root. And allow yourself to HEAL. Forcing or ignoring it will cause more pain and it just becomes a snowball effect.

The healing process seems to be the hardest part of the entire process. We don’t want to slow down, lose progress, or show our weaknesses. Yeah sure, it kind of sucks that right as I am working on my drop backs my lumbar/sacral spine is giving me hell but it is what it is. Let me tell you, we lose MUCH more progress when we don’t address our “pain” right away and let it get out of control. And showing our weakness? That is what makes us REAL PEOPLE. When we expose ourselves and share our stories, that is when we make a connection with people and to other we look like super hero’s. So are they really weaknesses? I think we need a better word.

So when you experience pain, mental or physical (or both), FEEL it, find the ROOT, and HEAL.

 To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

Friedrich Nietzsche

love to you all xo



3 thoughts on “mmmm crunchy…

  1. John Drury here. Thanks for this post Ally. I’ve been sidelined over the last two weeks by a sprained/strained knee. I can’t practice at all other than pranayama breathing, and it will be this way for weeks if not months. I’m extremely frustrated, but trying to take a longer view. Reading this helps. Hang in there.

  2. Ally…Spot on. We as humans need to start becoming aware of your pain. Sit and observe and sit and figure what we can do to fix it. Awareness! Love you, love your sharing and love your awareness!

  3. Ally, we think your insights into the suffering and healing process are really good. We are very proud of you! Love you lots, Bubby and Poppy

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